I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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