final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
