found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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