ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I am naked and annoyed.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
