just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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