Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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