he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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