I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
