Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I think weed is turning my hair brown
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
