Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
