I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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