And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
