did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I believe in your delicious
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
