Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
