I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
