using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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