So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
