I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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