You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
