you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
