Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
