I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
