weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
