Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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