why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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