We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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