last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
