so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
