So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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