it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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