did you get engaged???
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
