That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
it's like heaven, but drunker
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
