My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
