youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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