You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
