I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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