I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
