check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
This couple is walking their pig around campus
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
