I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
