yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
