Duck Duck Cougar?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
