ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
