is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
