I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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