READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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