im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
