PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
