we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
