literally had 100 drinks last night.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
