dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
