my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
