he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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